How to find happiness

This year I’m making a concerted effort to practice positivity. 

I won’t lie, it’s not as easy as it sounds.

So often I catch myself about not trusting that everything is just so, or better yet good. Kind of nervously peeping out from behind seeing if things are still “ok”. Or I find myself mindlessly about to reel off my latest batch of thoughts, worries and concerns, without truly thinking about what I’m saying, and then wondering why I feel bad.

So when this happens now, I take a deep breath and press pause. 

I ask myself is this really how I feel right now? 

Am I projecting? Am I worrying unnecessarily? Am I simply anticipating the worst rather than expecting the best? 

I’m learning these are habits formed over a lifetime. Stories we tell ourselves.  Stories ingrained in us, fed to us as children, passed down through generations, told to us by peers, the news, celebrities, people we admire. 

Sometimes it can be hard to decipher what is really ours to own and what amongst all the noise, is how we truly feel.

But by focusing on the slightest bit of positivity, any aspect that is going ok, and believing, trusting and focusing on that feeling, well…things are starting to shift. 

By focusing on what’s going right, by focusing on what I’m grateful for (a lot), by focusing on all the opportunities that are opening to me I’m witnessing how my frame of reference for life is starting to evolve. 

I’ve noticed that the absence of the negative creates a space that I’m aware of, and in that empty, ok space is a feeling I’m starting to notice. Not quite as elated as happiness, but it’s a very good feeling nonetheless. 

I think the best way to describe it is a sense of ease. A gracefulness. A calmness that sweeps through me. A certainty that things are just as they are, and just as they should be. A feeling of being grounded and sure. 

And you know what? I like it.

I’m happy to say so far there are more and more “ok” and “good” days. A cycle emerges, the more good I find, the more good I see, the more good happens, and the better I feel about things.

I believe that the stories we tell ourselves create our realities. So this year, think of me as a year long case study in the making. 

Listening to my heart and my gut to guide me through, with a determined focus on feeling good. By practicing the positive, seeking the space between the negative and the noise and finding solace in the sense of ease and grace that come from listening to yourself, I’m finding that happiness comes in knowing that I can choose what thoughts I focus on; and that feels pretty good to me.

If you’re interested in learning more about mindset, how the stories we tell ourselves shape our reality, and how to use the power of story telling to grow your brand and your business, join my private Facebook Group @MarketingandStorytellingforStartups, or visit www.wemeanbusinesslondon.com to learn how a journey way of self discovery can lead to a brand story with you at its heart.

Written by Lesley Stonier, Founder & Brand Storyteller at We Mean Business, London. Published on Thrive Global March 2020.